Artemis Fowl Parodies
by IzztreeRocks912
Summary: So, I've been obsessed with Artemis Fowl recently, so I've written some parodies. This is my first fanfic, so no harsh comments. Disclaimer: I don't own any Artemis Fowl characters. Eoin Colfer does. Also, I don't own any of the songs. I would also like to mention my friend, username randomosity4arty. Enjoy and comment
1. I Want Revenge

I Want Revenge (to the tune of Tonight Tonight by Hot Chelle Rae)

Point of view of Opal Koboi

It's been a really, really messed up year, that human Artemis Fowl and his giant manservant Butler

Are ruining everything, they put me in a coma for like eleven precious months

La, la, la I hate them, La, la, la it really matters

La, la, la I'll kill them, La, la, la

I'm going to get them tonight, tonight I'm going to kill Artemis Fowl and Co.

Tonight, tonight, bring me a box of my favorite truffles

I'm so going to make it, so there's no need to fake it

It's a fight, a fight, tonight, tonight

I woke screaming "revenge, revenge," not sure how to get it but they're going to regret it

I'll kill my worst enemies, that Recon captain Holly and that stuck of centaur Foaly

La, la, la I hate them, la, la, la, it really matters

La, la, la I'll kill them, la, la, la

I'm going to get them tonight, tonight, I'm throwing Arty and Holly to a pack of trolls

Tonight, tonight, bring me a box of my favorite truffles

I'm so going to make it, so there's no need to fake it

It's a fight, a fight, tonight, tonight

You've got me screaming like Oh my Frond, It's really happening Oh, my Frond make me dinner

Oh, my Frond I want truffles, Oh, my Frond I'm such a genius

Just don't stop, let's keep the shuttle flying, keep the shuttle up, let's shoot their ship down

It's my plot, it's going to work perfectly, I'm so brilliant, don't look at my skin

Just don't stop, let's keep the shuttle flying, keep the shuttle up, let's shoot their ship down

It's my plot, it's going to work perfectly, I'm so brilliant, don't look at my skin

It's me, me, me and I'm so beautiful and it's Holly Short and she's so hideous

And don't look at me, don't talk in slang, and exit to pass gas

Oh, my Frond it's really happening, Oh, my Frond, make me dinner

Oh, my Frond I want truffles, oh my Frond I'm such a genius

Tonight, tonight, I'm totally going to take over the world

Tonight, tonight, bring me a box of my favorite truffles

I'm totally going to make it, so there's no need to fake it

It's a fight, a fight, tonight, tonight

It's a fight, a fight, tonight, tonight

Yes, it's a fight, a fight, tonight, tonight

Just screaming like Oh my Frond, it's really happening, oh my Frond, make me dinner

Oh, my Frond, I want truffles, oh my Frond, I'm such a genius

Just don't stop let's keep the shuttle flying, keep the shuttle up, let's shoot their ship down

It's my plot, it's going to work perfectly I'm so brilliant, don't look at my skin

Just don't stop let's keep the shuttle flying, keep the shuttle up, let's shoot their ship down

It's my plot, it's going to work perfectly, I'm so brilliant, don't look at my skin


	2. I Heart Arty

I 3 Arty (to the tune of Girlfriend by Avril Lavigne)

Minerva Paradizo's POV

Hey hey you you, I don't like that Holly

No way, no way, you need someone different

Hey hey you you, I could be your girlfriend

Hey hey you you, I know that you like me

No way, no way, I can keep a secret

Hey hey you you, I want to be your girlfriend

You're so smart, I love your art, I think you're classic

I think about you all the time, you're so sarcastic

Don't you know together we could do great things

Don't pretend I think you know I'm as smart as you

And that means that I'm the perfect match for you

I can tell you like me too, and you know I'm right

She has such a temper, and I am like, so much better

You and me equal forever now…

Holly Short's POV

Hey hey you you, Minerva is so stuck up

No way no way, you don't have to put up

Hey hey you you, I could be your girlfriend

Hey hey you you, I know that you like me

No way, no way, with my awesome fighting

Hey hey you you, I want to be your girlfriend

I can hear the way, I hear the way you talk to me

And even when you go away, I know you think of me

I know your sarcasm is just for me again and again

So come underground and tell me what I want to hear

Better yet, make Minerva disappear

I don't want to hear you say her name ever again

'Cause she's like so whatever, and her house has like seven attics

We will be alone forever now…

Juliet Butler's POV

Hey hey you you, those two girls are weirdos

No way, no way, you could be my Romeo

Hey hey you you, I could be your girlfriend

Hey hey you you, I know you have a crush on me

No way, no way, I can keep your secret

Hey hey you you, I want to be your girlfriend

In a second those two will be unconscious

'Cause I am, 'cause I'm a natural fighter

I can wrestle, no boy can resist that

They're so stupid, what the Frond were you thinking?

In a second those two will be unconscious

'Cause I am, 'cause I'm a natural fighter

I can wrestle, no boy can resist that

They're so stupid, what the Frond were you thinking?

Artemis Fowl's POV

Hey hey you you, you don't like each other

No way, no way, I can understand that

Hey hey you you, I can only have one girlfriend

Hey hey you you, I know that you like me

No way, no way, I guess I can see why

Hey hey you you, I already have a girlfriend

Hey hey you you, you don't like each other

No way, no way, I can understand that

Hey hey you you, I canonly have one girlfriend

Hey hey you you, I know that you like me

No way no way, I guess I can see why

Hey hey you you, I already have a girlfriend


	3. Recon Rookie

Recon Rookie (to the tune of Magic by Selena Gomez)

Amateur Recon Officer's POV

Oh, oh, oh it's magic, you know, never believe it's not so

It's magic, you know, never believe it's not so

Never seen a fugitive, never seen a fight break

Snoozin' on my pillow in the morning

Lazy day at work, music in my head

Until Commander Root shouts, "PAY ATTENTION!" at light

Oh, oh, oh it's magic, you know, never believe it's not so

It's magic, you know, never believe it's not so

Love a sunny day, dreamin' about the surface

Dreamin' during work in the morning

Never seen a fugitive, never seen a fight break

Snoozin' on my pillow in the morning at light

Oh, oh, oh it's magic, you know, never believe it's not so

It's magic, you know, never believe it's not so

Oh, oh, oh it's magic, you know, never believe it's not so

It's magic, you know, never believe it's not so


	4. Tick Tock

Wake up in the morning feeling like a pixie

Grab my wings, I'm out the door, I'm gonna wreck this city

Before I leave, boss my servants Mervall and Descant

I'm gonna do what I want to do, cause there's nothing I can't

I'm talking goblins everywhere, where

My servants getting scared, scared

I don't really care, care

Death is taking it's toll, toll

I am on a roll, roll

Throwing my enemies to trolls, trolls

Don't stop, make them drop, I am flying up

Tonight I will fight, all through the night

Tick tock, on the clock, I'm getting bored, hurry up

Oh my Frond, this is so fun

Don't stop, make them drop, I am flying up

Tonight I will fight, all through the night

Tick tock, on the clock, I'm getting bored, hurry up

Oh my Frond, this is so fun

Ain't got a care in the world but I'm getting sore

Got a lot of money in my vault but I'll always want more

And now the fairies are running out cause they hear I can't stand them

That is perfectly true, I'll kill them, I demand it

All these fairies are gross, gross

I could torture most, most

Gonna shoot them if they're getting to close, close

I'm going till they're all dead, dead

Or they're losing their heads, heads

Or they're losing their heads,

Or they're losing their heads

Don't stop, make them drop, I am flying up

Tonight I will fight, all through the night

Tick tock, on the clock, I'm getting bored, hurry up

Oh my Frond, this is so fun

Don't stop, make them drop, I am flying up

Tonight I will fight, all through the night

Tick tock, on the clock, I'm getting bored, hurry up

Oh my Frond, this is so fun

I built it up, I'll break it down

My heart, it pounds, it's entertaining

Put your hands up, I got you now,

I got this town, yeah I got you

I built it up, I'll break it down

My heart, it pounds, it's entertaining

Put your hands up, I got you now,

I got this town, yeah I got you

Now the battle don't start till I fly in

Don't stop, make them drop, I am flying up

Tonight I will fight, all through the night

Tick tock, on the clock, I'm getting bored, hurry up

Oh my Frond, this is so fun

Don't stop, make them drop, I am flying up

Tonight I will fight, all through the night

Tick tock, on the clock, I'm getting bored, hurry up

Oh my Frond, this is so fun


	5. Somewhere Under the Ground

Somewhere under the ground, way down low

There's a land that I heard of once on the Internet

Somewhere under the ground skies are fake

I will steal some gold, oh yes I will

Someday I'll trick a fairy sprite

And get a copy of the fairy Book

And then I'll catch a leprechaun

And my manor will be under siege

That's where you'll find me

Somewhere under the ground, fairies fly

They fly under the ground, why then oh why can't I?

If angry little fairies fly under the ground

Why, oh why can't I?


	6. I Don't like Lollipops

Lollipop Parody

Song by MIKA, parody by ME.

Say sucking too hard on a lollipop

Oh, it's gonna get me down

Sucking too hard on a lollipop

Oh it's gonna get me down

Sucking too hard on a lollipop

Oh, love's gonna get me down

Sucking too hard on a lollipop

Oh, it's gonna get me down

Say love, say love, or love's gonna get me down

Lollipops, lollipops, oh they're gonna get me down

Captain Short punched me one day

And this is what she said

Be good till I come back

And I'll buy you a lollipop

Take a look at Minerva

She's smart and a downright bore

Thinks I love her, she wants more

Minerva gets me down

Sucking too hard on a lollipop

Oh, love's gonna get me down

Sucking too hard on a lollipop

Oh, it's gonna get me down

Say love, say love, love's gonna get me down

Lollipops, lollipops, they're gonna get me down

Holly told me what I should know

Too much candy gonna rot my soul

Back, off, I already know

Lollipops get me down

Take a look at some boys like me

Never mind, there aren't any

But I'm bad as I can be

Love only gets me down

Sucking too hard on a lollipop

Oh, love's gonna get me down

Sucking too hard on a lollipop

Oh, it's gonna get me down

Say love, say love, love's gonna get me down

Lollipops, lollipops, they're gonna get me down

Captain Short punched me one day

And this is what she said

Be good till I come back,

And I'll buy you a lollipop

Sucking too hard on a lollipop

Oh, love's gonna get me down

Sucking too hard on a lollipop

Oh, it's gonna get me down

Say love, say love, love's gonna get me down

Lollipops, lollipops, they're gonna get me down

Say love, say love, love's gonna get me down

Lollipops, lollipops, they're gonna get me down

Holly told me what I should know

Too much candy gonna rot my sould

Back off, I already know

Lollipops get me down

Who, whoa, whoa, lollipop

Whoa, whoa, whoa, lollipop

Sucking too hard on a lollipop

Oh, love's gonna get me down

Sucking too hard on a lollipop

Oh, it's gonna get me down


	7. Opal

Opal

Parody of Venus (Venus by Bananarama)

(By the way, I know I've written a lot of songs about Opal, and it's because she's one of my three favorite characters of all time, the other two being Juliet Butler and Ginny from Harry Potter)

Pixie living underground

Burning every house down

The summit of beauty and revenge

Opal was her name

She's got you, yeah baby she's got you

I'm your Opal, I'm your fire, burning you down

I'm your Opal, I'm your fire, burning you down

Her weapons were her Mesmer eyes

Making every human mad

Evil as a dark night she was

Had what no one else had

She's got you, yeah baby she's got you

I'm your Opal, I'm your fire, burning you down

I'm your Opal, I'm your fire, burning you down

Pixie living underground

Burning every house down

The summit of beauty and revenge

Opal was her name

She's got you, yeah baby she's got you

I'm your Opal, I'm your fire, burning you down

I'm your Opal, I'm your fire, burning you down


End file.
